Froot LoopsThis is a Beyond the Books writing prompt.

I miss the optimism of childhood, when anything seemed possible. I always loved writing, but imagining how my future would be, I also wanted to be an artist and own a castle and ride horses, and that uninhibited belief that you can do anything if you really believe…well, there’s pure magic in that.

As you grow up, you realize that it’s not possible to do everything you want, no matter how hard you try. First, you aren’t good at everything. Human beings have limitations. I love the act of creating, but in the end, I’m just not patient enough to create art. It takes me forever, because I’m a perfectionist and I get frustrated. I do complete projects every few years, mostly those that really personally motivate me and those usually involve my daughter. I love to see her smile!

Second, the world is ruled by money. I wanted to be a full-time author by the time I was 30, but traditional publishers only choose books that fit a certain template that they’ve decided is the key to making them money. That usually includes themes already being done. That’s why there was suddenly vampire books everywhere when Twilight became popular. Am I a “great” writer? No, but there are a lot of good authors out there that aren’t seen, because they don’t fit a mold.

Finally, there’s not enough time in the day. There’s so much I want to do, but I don’t have the time to, especially now that I have a child. I always knew that kids would require a lot of commitment, but I never realized it would be to this extent. At 2 years-old, it takes me daughter 1 hour to go to sleep, even if she’s exhausted. That’s an hour out of my time for everything else, which usually leads to just 1 hour a night for free time. Not much you can do in an hour. But I wouldn’t give her up for the world.

Yep, I wish I could regain some of that optimism I had in childhood. It’s hard to overcome the inner “I can’t…” when it’s worked itself in so deep. Maybe if I did, I’d be more of a bull, knocking down doors and staking claims.

On a side note, I also miss eating Trix, Froot Loops, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and every other sugar laden cereal without feeling an ounce of guilt. Long live Saturday morning cartoons!